When you have a problem: stress, depress, feeling down, angry, upset, mad, frustration or guilt, just by talking about it makes you feel better afterward. It is like a therapy. Professional therapy is more effective, but it is not free. Talking to a friend does not cost you. And if you want to show your appreciation, treat him or her to lunch or something sweet. I do not know about other people, but I feel good when I am able to treat a friend to food.
Most people do not like to talk about their personal issues or problems with friends or families. They rather hide them. Some people do not like to talk about work issues either. By avoiding or hiding your problems/issues, they will only pull you deeper into despair. The only way is to face the problems. To tackle and make them dissolve. Speaking from personal experience, when I had an issue with the ex-girlfriend, I talked to one of my friends. If the friend is a lady, even better because just hearing a woman telling you about other women, makes you feel better. She knows more about women and their problems. Certainly, she will be a valuable source to turn to.
When I found out that the girl I was seeing already had a guy. I felt cheated. I felt being lied to. I kept asking her to tell me the truth, but she kept denying it. Not knowing the truth weight heavily on the heart and the soul. I hated her very much because I’ve never met such a corrupted girl like her in my entire life. "Hate" is a strong word, I've stopped using it. But in this case I will use it. I was going through a very tough-emotional time. I did not eat for a whole day. I did not have any appetite. I could feel something was hurting inside me, in my stomach, like a stabbing thorn. I could not sleep at night. I missed her. I constantly thought about her, and what she would be doing. I did not feel like eating for three days and sleeping for three nights.
I went to work the next day. I talked to my co-worker who was also a friend. I asked him what he think of my problem. He told me that she had to be with some guys or a guy. That is why she never called, not even texted once. She had been gone for 5 days and 4 nights. Turned out later that was true. After talking to my friend, I felt better because I felt a relief that I was getting close to the truth. My goal was to find out the truth and leave her. Then, one night I went to talk two of my friends, a guy and girl. I will not go into details, but they both gave me great tips and advice. Especially the girl, she knew things about women that we men would not even guess. When you talk to your friends or family members about an issue, basically you throw all the facts, information, data and what you know of the issue/problem on the table. Those people then help you sort out the facts, puzzles and data together and find an answer or solve the puzzle. Sometimes they would point out to you the truth that you can’t see or figure out by yourself. Your mind has been so flooded with emotions, you cannot think clearly. Your mind is clouded due to stress, depression, frustration, anger etc., it does not function like a healthy-emotionally balanced mind.
In my case, they pointed out that she was a liar and faker. I could see it, but because we are only human, I did not want to believe it. All those bad things her ex did to her were the results of her bad behaviors. She was the root cause of all her miseries. When I associated with her, I became infected by her. She is like a cancer/virus/disease or sickness. When you touch it, it gets on you and starts to eat you alive. After the talk with my friends, I felt a wonderful relief. Everything became clear to me. A couple days later, I asked her sister about her, and she confirmed the truth- the girl I associated with was a corrupted liar. Usually people who are like her are mentally ill. In another word, they have some kind of mental/psychological disorder. A tough lesson learned. From that day on, I avoid any type of association with people like that.
But the point of this blog is that whenever you have an issue, whether it is personal relationship, family or friend, or work. Remember to talk to someone. If it is personal issue, talk to your friends (close friends are great) or your family members. If you are not close with your family members, go to your friends. I know many people are not very close with their family members especially their parents because many families are dysfunctional. Talk to your boss or someone above him if you have a work-related issue. The older the person is, the more he/she can help you overcome your issue/pain or dilemma. Typically, older people are wiser. Do not hesitate. Do not be afraid. Do not be shy or shame to discuss your problems with someone. Some people do not care about you issues, but those people are fakers. If they are fakers, they are also liars. And that is the truth. Fake people are liars. That is why they lie and pretend to be your friends. They are not your friends. Your friends are those who are sincere and genuine. People who care about you. They care for your well being. They are always willing to help you with what they can.
When you have overcome the problem, it is like having pulled out a thorn from your body. A problem that stuck in your mental chamber is like a thorn stuck inside. Although I have never had a professional therapy or been to a therapist or psychologist's office, I figured the “talking about it method” is not very much different from a professional therapy. The method and techniques may be different, but they both have the same goal - to get rid of the thorn and make you feel better. If it is useful, use it to your advantage. If you have money to seek professional therapy, that is even better. But just by talking to a friend is also an effective way without cost. Saves you money. Plus, you feel better afterward. Make sure you do the same back to your friends who need the same help.
Most people do not like to talk about their personal issues or problems with friends or families. They rather hide them. Some people do not like to talk about work issues either. By avoiding or hiding your problems/issues, they will only pull you deeper into despair. The only way is to face the problems. To tackle and make them dissolve. Speaking from personal experience, when I had an issue with the ex-girlfriend, I talked to one of my friends. If the friend is a lady, even better because just hearing a woman telling you about other women, makes you feel better. She knows more about women and their problems. Certainly, she will be a valuable source to turn to.
When I found out that the girl I was seeing already had a guy. I felt cheated. I felt being lied to. I kept asking her to tell me the truth, but she kept denying it. Not knowing the truth weight heavily on the heart and the soul. I hated her very much because I’ve never met such a corrupted girl like her in my entire life. "Hate" is a strong word, I've stopped using it. But in this case I will use it. I was going through a very tough-emotional time. I did not eat for a whole day. I did not have any appetite. I could feel something was hurting inside me, in my stomach, like a stabbing thorn. I could not sleep at night. I missed her. I constantly thought about her, and what she would be doing. I did not feel like eating for three days and sleeping for three nights.
I went to work the next day. I talked to my co-worker who was also a friend. I asked him what he think of my problem. He told me that she had to be with some guys or a guy. That is why she never called, not even texted once. She had been gone for 5 days and 4 nights. Turned out later that was true. After talking to my friend, I felt better because I felt a relief that I was getting close to the truth. My goal was to find out the truth and leave her. Then, one night I went to talk two of my friends, a guy and girl. I will not go into details, but they both gave me great tips and advice. Especially the girl, she knew things about women that we men would not even guess. When you talk to your friends or family members about an issue, basically you throw all the facts, information, data and what you know of the issue/problem on the table. Those people then help you sort out the facts, puzzles and data together and find an answer or solve the puzzle. Sometimes they would point out to you the truth that you can’t see or figure out by yourself. Your mind has been so flooded with emotions, you cannot think clearly. Your mind is clouded due to stress, depression, frustration, anger etc., it does not function like a healthy-emotionally balanced mind.
In my case, they pointed out that she was a liar and faker. I could see it, but because we are only human, I did not want to believe it. All those bad things her ex did to her were the results of her bad behaviors. She was the root cause of all her miseries. When I associated with her, I became infected by her. She is like a cancer/virus/disease or sickness. When you touch it, it gets on you and starts to eat you alive. After the talk with my friends, I felt a wonderful relief. Everything became clear to me. A couple days later, I asked her sister about her, and she confirmed the truth- the girl I associated with was a corrupted liar. Usually people who are like her are mentally ill. In another word, they have some kind of mental/psychological disorder. A tough lesson learned. From that day on, I avoid any type of association with people like that.
But the point of this blog is that whenever you have an issue, whether it is personal relationship, family or friend, or work. Remember to talk to someone. If it is personal issue, talk to your friends (close friends are great) or your family members. If you are not close with your family members, go to your friends. I know many people are not very close with their family members especially their parents because many families are dysfunctional. Talk to your boss or someone above him if you have a work-related issue. The older the person is, the more he/she can help you overcome your issue/pain or dilemma. Typically, older people are wiser. Do not hesitate. Do not be afraid. Do not be shy or shame to discuss your problems with someone. Some people do not care about you issues, but those people are fakers. If they are fakers, they are also liars. And that is the truth. Fake people are liars. That is why they lie and pretend to be your friends. They are not your friends. Your friends are those who are sincere and genuine. People who care about you. They care for your well being. They are always willing to help you with what they can.
When you have overcome the problem, it is like having pulled out a thorn from your body. A problem that stuck in your mental chamber is like a thorn stuck inside. Although I have never had a professional therapy or been to a therapist or psychologist's office, I figured the “talking about it method” is not very much different from a professional therapy. The method and techniques may be different, but they both have the same goal - to get rid of the thorn and make you feel better. If it is useful, use it to your advantage. If you have money to seek professional therapy, that is even better. But just by talking to a friend is also an effective way without cost. Saves you money. Plus, you feel better afterward. Make sure you do the same back to your friends who need the same help.